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Every year, if she didn’t happen to be with us, I’d send my mom flowers on her birthday. Last year she was here  in Arizona, celebrating, eating cake, loving on her beautiful granddaughter, and so very full of life.  If someone had told me that night it would be our last birthday, I’d have dismissed such a preposterous statement without a second thought.  How silly!  How silly to think she wouldn’t be with us this April 24th.  How silly to imagine I would never send her flowers on her birthday, again.

Every book you read about grief tells you the same thing: that each milestone after the death of a loved one will bring fresh grief, and new tears, and unimaginable sadness.  And that is exactly where I am as her birthday arrives…

…and I have not sent her flowers.

Rather, the flowers for her birthday this year were a beautiful bouquet of tulips on the alter at church:  In Memory.

I miss you so very, very much, Mom.  I wish you were here for me to wrap my arms around and wish you the happiest of birthdays.  And I know you know…I love you with all my heart!

Lisa

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4 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing with us, you reminded me to appreciate the people I have around me.

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  2. Lisa, I’m so sorry your mom isn’t with you to celebrate. Your words capture exactly how I will feel when my mom is no longer on this earth. The tuilps on the altar are beautiful. I’m sure she loves them 🙂

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  3. These flowers and post are a nice tribute to your mom as well, through them you were able to share your love for your mom with the world!

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  4. Oh, it’s just so hard learning to live in a world that no longer contains those we love. No one ever can tell you how hard it will be to have faith that life might feel normal again. I am sorry that you hurt so much right now. Janet

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